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I have a knack for holding on. I am good at nourishing, feeding, and loving something into absolute comfort. Keeping everyone safe, if not cozy, is my modus operandi, my internal comfort zone.

But all of the real magic in life happens on the release. From giving birth, to walking away from expired circumstances, to diving into something new and untried, to falling in love, the juice of living is in the release.

What keeps us from doing it, then?

(Looking out to the ocean in Baja)


As you may know, we just returned from our pilgrimage to the Grey Whales of Baja California, Mexico. It is an indescribable journey, full of adventure and wonder. As a facilitator, my true joy is creating the interface between whale and human, held in specific resonance (gong). The experience is life changing. And every time I go, the downloads go deeper in all directions. Travel often begets new perspective, but realization is meta perspective and it comes in abundance when we move into the same energy field with whales.

At the end of our final whale encounter, there was a profound moment when the whales, aware that we were pulling away, decided to pursue us, as fast as they could. Our driver outpaced their advance, but the experience was heart rending for me. At that point, I had been playing gong for them for several days, and the interface was strong. The act of leaving, of LETTING GO, was tremendously challenging. Ok. Let me be honest, it was ridiculously hard. For the entire drive home, I was still in the lagoon. Arriving in San Diego, I felt myself still attached to them… in a way that made it difficult to be fully present. A depression threatened. In meditation, I asked for the wisdom. (Other than getting in my car and driving back to Baja, which wasn’t completely out of the question!)


What came was the big one. A long time ago, somewhere in my experience, letting go left me alone. And that was supposed to happen so that I realized that no matter where I am in the Universe, alone is not the truth. I realized all at once that the release is equal to the embrace. And love has nothing to do with playing it safe. As a teacher, a practitioner, nurturer and facilitator, my growth edge has often been seeing a student or patient into the world on their own. To notice when a circumstance is ripe and ready to bring its own seed into the world is an art-form.

Some people are really good at letting go. They have other ways to learn. But for those of us who hang on, what helps?

1. Don’t dwell on your emotions. For people who stay in the embrace too long, the emotional body is treasure trove of experience. But emotions are transient information. Allow yourself to feel them, but don’t analyze them. Allow them to move through you . Relax the body, let the the physical response to the emotional field take place. Care for yourself deeply as long as is required to receive the wisdom of the experience. Integrate the learning. And then move on. Know that everything that comes from the shift is opening space for more of your truth. Don’t judge it. Don’t continue to rehash and repeat the story.

2.  It helps to have friends and mentors that travel light. Lean into emotionally aerodynamic people. Just being in their field is enough to pull you out of old patterns and help you process your emotions more efficiently. Holding on in an unhealthy way is a symptom of unprocessed subconscious baggage.

3.  Daily practice of yoga and meditation. You don’t know what you don’t know. A daily practice helps you process mostly the immediate and sometimes the old heaviness of the past. It will streamline your humanness in a healthy way.

4.  Group Practice. Sign up for a physical class or workshop. Being in group consciousness creates a dynamic where the strength inherent in each one bolsters everyone. Sometimes, someone else is carrying the key to your next door. Lean in and receive.

5.  Lighten your load. One of the best ways to move energy is to give something away. Clean out a closet, trim your book collection, delete old emails. Notice how THAT feels!

I can feel my whale family right now. It is palpable. And our connection goes beyond this life, this space, this time. As we all migrate into different waters, I continue to hear their exhale….everywhere.  And it is changing my world.