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Soul Body Blog

Timely articles and ideas for your health and wellbeing…

I am the ONE I Have Been Waiting For…

The day I separated from my husband- I had the thought,
“How am I going to find another man? This town is so small?”
There was anger, rage, frustration, and pain.
There was hurt, betrayal, and devastation.
There was also relief and determination to start a new.
That day-
The very day we parted-
That was the end of a romantic relationship of 14 years.
And it was also the beginning of one of the most beautiful friendships of a brother/sister partnerships I have ever known.
I am blessed to have one of the best relationships with my ex-husband that I have ever seen in divorces.
The marriage Sucked-
I was depressed for most of it
I was a horrible wife.
I had one of the Worst marriages of anyone I have ever known personally.
It was not at all what I imagined marriage to be like.
On the day of our marriage- that was the happiest day of my life at that point.
I felt like the luckiest, most blessed being on earth
But the pain came in-
Right on the heels of tremendous joy, beauty and love.
I was almost instantly broken-hearted
I was paralyzed in fear
I was crippled with pain.
I was filled with anger and despair at
Who I was being and
What our marriage had become.
I have spent the last 4 years since our divorce studying relationships.
I have gone to healers, taken courses, read books.
I have devoted myself to my healing and helping others to free themselves from
The pain, the trauma and the dis-function of abusive relationships.
I have looked at the dynamics of Predator- Prey- Savior- Caregiver- Martyr-Victim.
I have prayed, taken medicines, breathed, meditated, danced, and washed myself clean.
Through all my seeking and healing- there was always still this little seed of fear in me-
What if I re-create a dysfunctional relationship again?
What was the Root cause of the Breakdown in the marriage?
Why did I call in this lesson?
There was a point in the marriage- it was even a while before the final separation- when things were so bad that I did not love myself.
I had wanted to leave the marriage for many years- I threatened I was going to leave hundreds of times.
There were times when the depression was so immense that I did not want to live
It got to the point where I thought,
“If I were to meet myself in town- I would not want to be friends with that woman.”
Imagine that- you have so little respect for who you are being that you wouldn’t even want to be friends with that person?
Whoa- that was a big wake up.
But- still I STAYED in the marriage-
I tried to make it work-
I thought- “I will heal this situation”
I was committed to the marriage AT ALL COSTS.
. . . . . .
A few months ago- I decided I was really finally ready to call in a partner- I know I’ve said that before- I’ve even been on some dating apps- but in the 3 years of having a profile and looking for partners on several different sites- I had only been on one date.
I was stuck in the “no one is good enough” mentality.
Which- once I committed myself to actually going on dates- I realized there was in fact a lot of fear behind the supposed-
I love myself so much and I am so worthy therefore-
The man I’ll calling in must be of an extreme caliber.
Yes- that is all true-
AND also, there was a fear of intimacy, a fear of exposing my shadows, a fear of my weaknesses.
. . . . . .
The Tao says, “The Tao (truth) that can be spoken is not the Tao. “
. . . . .
The Buddha once pointed his figure to the moon and said- that there is the moon.
The moon is there but it is not my figure pointing to the moon, it is not the word that I use to describe the moon.
The only way that you can know the moon is to experience it yourself.
You cannot just talk, describe, intellectualize the moon.
You must see it, feel it, taste it, touch it, embody it yourself and then
You will Know the Moon.
To reach Buddha state-
Christ Consciousness,
one must first-
Let go of all attachments to worldly processions,
Let go of the ego,
Let go of everything that is not GOD.
Then one can embody their true self- they can
When you connect into source-
Connecting into the Mother Earth and the Father Sky/Sun
When you plug into the Divine masculine and Divine feminine and
You allow the two energies into your body-
The father coming down through your crown-
The mother coming up through your base- and they
Unite within your heart-
You are there-
The Union of the Divine lives
And when you are experiencing that-
You are BEING your true self.
You are a Divine embodiment of GOD/GODDESS.
For me- this embodiment of the Divine is the most beautiful, blissful, orgasmic, joyful state.
This is ecstasy embodied.
This is the ability to submit fully and allow the divine to flow through me-
To experience my SHAKTI- feminine power within my being.
The Kundalini rising
Christ Consciousness-
The rose of the heart in full bloom
This is the ability to
Make LOVE with the UNIVERSE.
To make love to Everyone and Everything
TO Breathe LOVE and
It is SO JOYFULL!!!!
This is my gift-
This is my POWER
This IS ME-
I am an embodiment of the GODDESS.
This is me as high priestess bringing this awareness and initiations into the world.
This is me as ISIS- spreading my wings and flying
This is me as Mary Magdalene- rose of the heart blooming
This is me as VENUS in all her beauty
This is me as Minerva- with all her wisdom
I am a form of the Goddess that has been worshiped for millennia-
This is the Union of the masculine and the feminine
This is GOD.
Thank you-
Thank you- GODDESS
I am so grateful
So. . . . . . .
Back to the whole relationship thing.
The reason that every single close romantic relationship/partnership has ended in abuse and dysfunction is simply because
I was misusing my power.
I was idealizing a false God.
Remember the Buddha pointing to the moon- that was me.
I was worshiping the finger not the moon.
I was putting the marriage, the relationship, the teacher, the community, the belief system- OVER ME.
The ONLY thing that I am now devoted to giving my all-
100% complete submission and devotion and everything worship of
Which is my connection to my higher self-
Me and Great Spirit-
Me and the Divine- and
This is the union of the male and the female within myself-
This is the Holy Grail-
This is LOVE-
I am GOD-
I am LOVE- and
I am ONE with ALL.
The true embodiment of this understanding is complete freedom from others.
Every orgasm I have ever had with a male partner-
Every blissed-out state with medicine work-
Every embodiment of truth and love and higher consciousness-
That Was all and that-
I am oneness
There is no other.
There is no sacred partner of union outside of the self.
And yes-
I LOVE my relationships with others as they are all mirrors to reflect back to me-
MY brilliance.
I am grateful for how others can bring me to a knowing of myself that I was not connecting with.
And now-
I have full confidence in my ability to co-create a balanced and healthy relationship with a man- IF I choose to in this lifetime.
Thank you so much
I am so grateful
Thank you, GODDESS,
I am a humble student of your LOVE
It is my life’s devotion to worship you
To teach men and woman how to love, honor, revere and worship the GODDESS
To teach other women how to
Awaken their inner GODDESS
Thank you so much
I am so grateful
To all my ancestors
To all my relations
To all my teachers
To the ancestors of this sacred land
Thank you
I love you
I honor you
I give thanks
I am a form of the Goddess that has been worshiped for millennia-
Isis, Mary, Sophia, Nut, Inanna, Ishtar, Gaia, Pachamama, The Triple Goddess- (maiden/mother/crone), Pele, Hi’iaka, Xochiquetzal, Chaluchiuhtlicue, Ixchel, Athena, Venus, Aphrodite, Minerva, Uzza, Manat, Allat, Arya Tara, Asase Ya, Oshun, Amaterasu, Kwan Yin, Brigid, Frigg and many, many more

Meet Angelique Dupre

Angelique Dupre grew up an only child in the country swamps of Louisiana, close to nature, and riding horses in her father’s rice fields, and the dirt roads that surrounded them.  As a teenager, she found respite from her busy high school schedule contemplating life silently by the bayous with her horse, playing the piano, and spending time with her beloved Siamese cats.

After receiving a Bachelor of Arts degree at Louisiana State University, Angelique moved to Florida, where she enjoyed modeling professionally for national television with Home Shopping Network for three years, as well as freelance acting and modeling.  She realized shortly, however, that she craved a more fulfilling career that could truly help people.  She was attracted to alternative health therapies, and eventually chose Massage Therapy.

In 1997, Angelique moved to the wonderful town of Ojai, California and has been there ever since.  She raised her two children in Ojai, and they are now 18 and 20 years old.  She has always loved Ojai because of its small and quaint feeling, much like the town she grew up in, but also because of its spiritual, artistic and healing vitality, its magical mountains, and nearby oceans.

Angelique is now a California Certified Massage Therapist and a White Lotus Foundation yoga instructor fully trained in 1996.  She has been a massage therapist since 1995, when she received her Florida State license for Swedish and Deep Tissue massage.  Shortly after receiving her license, Angelique studied Neuromuscular Therapy, Trigger Point Therapy, and Myofascial Release, as well as Therapeutic Touch.  Therapeutic Touch is a style of energy work that addresses the auric field of your body.  It is serendipitous that both of the originators of Therapeutic Touch, Delores Krieger and Dora Kunz, were active members of the Theosophical Society here in Ojai!

Angelique was a yoga instructor and massage therapist in Florida before she moved to Ojai, and found a position as a yoga instructor and massage therapist at the Ojai Valley Inn. She worked there for 16 years as a massage therapist and two years prior as a yoga instructor. During that time, she received certifications in Prenatal Massage, Reflexology, Oncology, Craniosacral Therapy with an Upledger certification at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur, and Reiki Energy Work, level 2.  She was also trained in a specific protocol of table Zen Shiatsu by a Zen Shiatsu and Chinese Medicine practitioner from China, which is a facilitated stretch and acupressure treatment designed to open the vital energy pathways in the body.  Angelique also co- designed and trained coworkers at the Ojai Valley Inn in an original detox massage, which incorporates a vigorous massage style with dry brushing lymphatic work, as well as breathwork and hot towels for a unique, luxurious and detoxifying massage experience.

Angelique’s specialty is working with those in pain…..whether it be sciatica, frozen shoulder, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, migraines, TMJ, thoracic outlet syndrome,  other chronic/acute soft tissue pain, or emotional stress, distress, and/or trauma.  She has also worked with clients who are dealing with cancer or its after-effects, and other challenging illnesses, injuries, or surgeries.  She has worked with the elderly, as well as expectant mothers, and understands their individual needs.   Whether you are looking for deep work to release adhesions that cause pain, or you are looking for gentle, loving, spiritual healing, (or both!) Angelique has you covered.   She uses her intuition and often integrates her massages with breathwork and pranayama, vocal toning, aromatherapy, energy healing, reflexology, and/or guided visualization.  In addition, Angelique can incorporate her yoga and stretching expertise for one-on-one sessions that empower you to heal yourself.  This versatility gives Angelique the ability to assist you in customizing your healing journey tailored to your specific needs and goals.

Click to learn more and schedule with Angelique Dupre


Venus Retrograde

Venus is the Goddess of Love, Beauty, Desire, Sex, Fertility, and Prosperity. When the planet Venus goes retrograde- it represents a time to turn inward to the dark parts of ourselves or the shadows that we carry in the aspects of that planet. There is nothing to be afraid of or scared of with Venus going Retrograde. In fact it is an opportunity to re-evaluate how we relate to these parts of ourselves. For these 40 days we are being given a perfect time for finally releasing old wounds, traumas, pains and shame that we may carry in any of these areas of our life.

Venus in retrograde can be related to the ancient Babylonian story from 300 BC of the Goddess of Heaven (Inanna) traveling to the underworld to visit her sister the Goddess of the underworld (Ereshkigal). This story is about the Gemini duality- of the other half. It is about meeting the shadow of oneself and only through the acceptance and understanding of one’s shadow is one able to fully embody all of their true power.

In the story- the Sumerian Queen- the Goddess of Heaven and Earth descends into the underworld. She is asked to leave everything behind- purifying and releasing like the 7 Chakras of the body until she is nothing but a dead corpse. At that point she experiences and witness the pain and suffering of her sister from the death of her sister’s husband. Inanna is then rescued and saved from the underworld but only after she has passed through all the stages of letting go of any worldly gifts or protections and bares her soul- without anyone or anything aiding her- to be witness to her sister’s pain and sorrow. Her sister feels Inanna’s empathy for the pain and then releases her. When Inanna returns to the Heavens- she is able to be a true Queen- because she has integrated the light and the dark parts of herself. Thus she embodies her true self even more and is more powerful because she has faced her shadows.

So I ask you- What shadows are you ready to face during the next month?

I am facing my shadows of love, intimacy, sex, sensuality, femininity, money and relationships. I am reclaiming my story and I am stepping into new ground in these places. When there is growth- there is often feelings of uncomfortableness and fear- but the the growth comes when we courageously continue to stand in our truth and be our authentic self despite whatever is being projected at us.

I feel incredibly blessed by my recent visit to Sedona where I got to connect even deeper with the Goddess. To guide other sisters into a deeper connection with the Goddess. To understand and to know the Goddess and her many forms. To realize that I am the Goddess- and it is my life’s devotion to teach the men and the woman how to honor, love and worship the Goddess. And so with this gratitude and love in my heart- I say thank you Venus for gifting me this moment in time to cleanse, to purify and to release the old beliefs that I have carried that are not who I truly am. May I enter the shadows of my heart, my womb and my feminine beauty- to feel, to gain compassion and understanding and to finally release the story of shame, blame, victim and inferiority. May I emerge as a true embodiment of the Maiden, Mother, Crone- the Goddess. I am a guide for others to find their connections to the Goddess.

May we Remember
May we Awaken
May we Honor the Goddess
I am love
Thank you
Thank you
To all my relations
I am grateful

~Alison McKelvie Eakin


Ojai Weekend Retreat is Coming Up!

Join Jennifer Marcaccini and team for a weekend getaway. This retreat is full of inspiration, relaxation, and renewal in beautiful Ojai, CA. It’s the perfect opportunity to finish the 2018 year with a renewed sense of spirit and a fresh outlook on life.

Your weekend away will include yoga, meditation, delicious vegetarian meals, beautiful natural surroundings, and optional free time activities such as guided nature hikes and message.



Visit our Events page for more details

Contact Us


206 N Signal Street, Suite M

Ojai, CA 93023

(805) 717-9900


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