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Ever had one of those days or months, where things in your life get a little intense, like, going to the vet twice in 48 hours for the same cat, different problems? Or two of your neighbors die within three weeks of each other, you are working so much your body hurts, and along the way you get food poisoning?

Well, that’s been the last two months of my life, and I didn’t have time to take a vacation, so I did the next best thing–I let off a lot of steam without leaving town!

Best ways to deal with stress, a.k.a. the best way to love yourself are the usual suspects:

1. Take a vacay
2. Get your body moving
3. Get plenty of sleep
4. Get into nature
5. Meditate
6. Get a healer to work their magic on you
7. Spend quality time with friends and/or family
8. Say NO to anything extra that may take up more of your time and energy (even when you think it’s harmless)

Dancing for me, helps me manage my stress, moves any stuck energies out and makes me so, so happy. I gave myself Reiki to help put me into a deep sleep. I also gave myself Reiki when I woke up, too. Clearing my energy with sage and a quick visualization of water fall of light helped me with the shock of these sudden deaths in my life. They weren’t family, but their deaths took a toll on me, made me look at my own mortality and in a way, I put more pressure on myself to succeed.

I started to realize how their deaths were affecting me when I couldn’t get the word out about my upcoming classes. Though we weren’t family, I saw them everyday, said hello, and I helped them in what turned out to be their last days on earth. This happened to with both of my neighbors, I was taking care of one’s cat and I picked up one of my neighbors from the hospital along with their adult son because his car broke down.
So, I took great luxuries like sleeping in, meditating, finding gratitude for all the things in my life, especially my health. I made myself my favorite drink: matcha and fruit juice.

I also said no to a lot of things, no to a certain, vocal cat that wanted in to my bedroom to wake me up at the break of dawn. No to my beloved dance classes as I felt my energy dampen by that horrible flu that was going around (never got the flu, either!). I said no to an invite to a retreat in October because I didn’t want to have to mis-book myself like I did last year and not get to spend special festival time with my family back East.

When you give yourself the luxury of time-out in some way each day, you give yourself the gift of having more room to have more energy in your life, instead of pushing yourself to get things done or avoid uncomfortable feelings. I let myself feel the sorrow as I watched the families of my two neighbors move their mother’s life possessions out, I knew I had to cut myself some slack and give myself more time out. I pushed back dates for my classes, I had to give myself permission to be a human being, and allow myself to do loving things for me. In order to be able to hold sacred space for my clients, I needed to take care of my own sacred space first. I even made time to go find the mustard field and take pictures with my real camera (not phone).


Life can get really intense, which is why it’s important to find a practice and holistic practitioner to help you stay expanded so you can show up in your life in the healthiest way possible. You don’t put yourself on the bottom of the to-do list, you have to put yourself on top of it.

What are your favorite go-to’s for relieving stress during intense periods of your life?


What can you say no to, in order to say yes to putting yourself on top of your to-do list?


No one else is going to put you first, so it might as well be you.

~Sharmila Mali
**End Notes**
  • As for the cat, he’s been fine for weeks now, the vet said he was trying too hard to puke a hair ball or maybe an allergy with all the different plants sprouting up since the fires and rain.
  • As for my gut, it’s taking a little bit more time to get my gut biome in balance, luckily I have great healers in my life to help me manage stress, hormones and food poisoning!